My situation, of course, is not the worst; it’s not worse than what some people go through. I got married three years ago. I married a man who at that time clearly didn’t need it. I was pregnant with my first child then. I was also absolutely convinced that a child must be born within marriage and not otherwise.
We lived together, and another baby was born. But all this time, his relatives would periodically attack me. Their main goal was to show me “my place,” making it clear that I am nobody and that I mean nothing.
My husband never did anything about it even once. Moreover, he would sometimes disappear for week-long drinking sprees (not at home), and once he came home at dawn, started yelling at me, and breaking dishes. Time would pass, everything would calm down, and we would return to normal life — shared responsibilities, children, household. And then it would all repeat again.
Not long ago, he developed a habit of leaving during the day or early evening and returning no earlier than 3 a.m. with various excuses. I caught him lying. It was painful. Around the same time, his cousin broke up with his common-law wife, and she started calling my husband. I told her not to call him, and in response I was harshly insulted.
And just to those who might want to tell me that I should reflect and look for the problem within myself — yes, I am not perfect. Yes, my body after marriage is not what it used to be. Yes, I am so tired of this treatment that I no longer feel like showing him affection. Yes, I don’t always manage to keep up with household chores.
People, please don’t tell me again that I am bad. This confession is not about that.
In general, I am tired of the whole situation and suggested divorce and living separately without officially ending things immediately. He didn’t like it and said it would be better to live separately only after divorce.
Our older child already understands a little and asks: “Mom, will we find another dad?” I naturally tell him no, we won’t be looking for another dad.
At this point, I’ve come to the conclusion that our marriage was a terrible mistake, and that it would be better to separate and let my husband go. But it is very hard for me. He comes home, brings the children treats and necessary groceries. And he looks at me and asks: “How are we going to live дальше (from now on)?”
And I don’t know what is better — to accept his attempts at reconciliation and continue living in all of this, or to let go and give him the chance to build his own life, to find someone who will suit both him and his relatives.